Would you rather be right or loving?

Have you heard the expression, "Would you rather be right or happy?" Recently a slightly different question was posed to me that is much more meaningful. I was asked, "Would you rather be right or loving?" This is a much more powerful question especially relating to my relationship with loved ones who, according to my evaluation and my judgment, have an impairment of one sort or another. At one time I thought it was important, when dealing with a loved one who was on diversion after being charged with a drug offense, to turn them in after they had a relapse. This plan of attack was met with resistance, thank goodness. I did not end up turning them in, but the incident led me to start going to Al-Anon. It's taken me a long time to see that I was wrong. The reality is that I was unhappy, with myself, my lack of accomplishments, and my inability to financially support my family to my satisfaction. My personal insecurity, led me to be over controlling of my loved ones. I was so over controlling that I lost my ability to act in a loving way. It's taken me a long time to see this, a little over 17 years, but now I am in a position where I can finally apologize for my mistake and amend that behavior to the best of my ability. Twelve-step work makes that possible. I'm so grateful for 12 step programs and the outside help that's been necessary for me to grow so I can continue to be of more and more service to my family and friends.

Obama's Compassionate Clemency Policy Rocks!

President Obama granted clemency to 240 felons in earlyAugust and 111 more later in the month, almost all of whom were in prison on drug-related charges. This is welcome news, particularly for those serving heavy-handed crack sentences. Let’s hope for an ongoing trend away from punitive correction of people who suffer with substance use disorder. Punishment of people with mental disorders is expensive, ineffective, and inhumane. The latest round of commuted sentences brings the total number of clemencies to 673 people. It is time to stop the War on Drugs because it has been both ineffective and costly for the government. 

Doing nothing would be better than what we’ve done the last 40 years or so. Hopefully some of the money wasted on the War on Drugs can be reallocated to providing caring and thoughtful treatment instead. It is time for us to turn the tiller away from harsh drug sentences and toward decriminalization and compassionate therapy for people with these mental disorders.